Anonymous asked: Why are your blog posts so condescending? I point specifically to this latest one, about Facebook statuses. Perhaps I find statuses advertising pretentious blog posts annoying. Just a thought. The fact that you took the time to tell the world about what annoys you on Facebook is interesting in itself. Maybe someone wants some attention?
My response is the same as it was for my most recent complaint: if you don’t like the subject matter, don’t read the post. My list was amusing and harmless. I didn’t name names, and I didn’t use specific examples. And my blog has nothing to do with attention. I like writing. Maybe you should find a hobby yourself rather than bashing me.
- Will anyone feel an emotion other than annoyance after reading your status? If not, try again.
- Love your boyfriend? Congratulations. Don’t profess your love for your significant other for the world to see; you may think your relationship is the center of the universe, but I’m here to tell you you’re sadly mistaken. Of course, that’s not to say you shouldn’t tell your boyfriend or girlfriend that you love them. Tell them, not the world. Side note: Putting a heart on their wall for each day you’ve been dating is equally inappropriate.
- Do you enjoy being stalked? If so, proceed to tell us exactly where you will be and with whom every second of your day. Also, feel free to include time, address, type of car and what you’re wearing, just to make it a little easier on us.
- Meteorology in your future? If the answer is yes, continue giving vivid descriptions of the weather each day. But just so you know, the weather channel does a much better job than you do. And also, telling me it’s raining outside isn’t going to boost your resume.
- Planning on getting drunk this weekend? Good for you. Unless you intend on rear-ending me while driving under the influence, please keep your blood alcohol content level to yourself.
- Saw a lot of people today? I’m glad your social life is finally blossoming, but tagging every person you saw over the course of your day doesn’t make me jealous. However, it does give me the strange impression that this doesn’t happen very often.
- Do you hate your life? No? Then don’t post Justin Bieber lyrics.
- Going out for dinner? That’s cool. Telling me exactly what you’re going to order and how you thought a piece of lettuce got stuck in your teeth and you were mortified and then it turns out that you’re imagining things really isn’t that interesting. Panera’s great. A Thai Chopped Chicken Salad with no cashews and a side of low-fat vegetarian black bean soup is just too much information.
- Nobody texting you? Leaving your number and a “text meeeeeeeee” status isn’t going to help your situation. If they’re not texting you now, that’s probably a sign.
- Feeling incredibly happy or sad today? Personally, ridiculously bubbly and super depressed people piss me off. Find a happy medium.
Anonymous asked: why is everything in your blog so negative? I feel like a lot of your posts are just you expressing you anger or hatred of other people and things.
I made this blog explicitly to vent. No one’s forcing you to read it.
(727): h3y babi
(352): Inappropriate.
(727): huh?
(352): Hello.
(727): how r u?
(352): I’m doing well, thank you. How are you?
(727): cant complane
(352): Come again?
(727): whine
(727): bitch
(727): whatever
(352): Complain?
(727): thats wat i said.
(352): Right. Of course. Silly me.
(727): so wats new?
(352): Nothing really. How’s school?
(727): physics sux balls, but the girls r hot
(352): Well that’s a lovely image.
(727): huh?
(352): Yes?
(727): wat?
(352): I don’t know what you’re talking about.
(727): ur talking about it!
(352): Talking about what?
(727): the thing!
(352): What thing?
(727): that thing that u were talking about!
(352): I wasn’t talking about anything. You were talking about the weather.
(727): i was?
(352): Didn’t I just say that?
(727): did u?
(352): No.
(727): wat?
(352): What’s a pirate minus his ship?
(727): huh?
(352): Just a creative homeless guy.
(727): uh…
(352): What’s an anteater plus a large, hungry mutant ant?
(727): idk…
(352): An ironic way to die.
(727): i dont get it
(352): You really are useless.
(727): thats mean!
(352): Sorry, babe. I’ll make it up to you ;)
(727): oh rele now?
(352): Oh yeah. Any way you’d like ;)
(727): interesting
(352): Oh?
(727): i never new u were lik that
(352): Is that a problem?
(727): nope
(727): just interesting
(352): I’ve loved you forever. I want you. I need you. Oh baby, oh baby ;)
(727): u do?
(352): Always have, always will.
(727): seriously?
(352): Do you want me to take it back?
(727): no. i love u 2
(727): from the fist time i saw u
(352): Fist?
(727): first
(352): Got it.
(727): so…
(352): Marry me? ;)
(727): maybe we shud go on a date first
(352): I don’t want to take it slowly. I want you to be mine. All mine.
(727): but babe, were only 18!
(352): That means we’re legal.
(727): r u serious?
(352): Obviously not! Good lord, boy. How dumb are you?
(727): wait…wat?
(352): I was being sarcastic…
(727): u were?
(352): Oh. My. God. Do I have to repeat everything?
(727): sarcastic about wat?
(352): You being dumb.
(727): rele?
(352): No!!!!!
(727): then wat?
(352): I’m trying really hard to remember how to breathe right now. I was being sarcastic about being in love with you.
(727): u were?
(352): In and out. In and out.
(727): fine. fine. why were u being sarcastic?
(352): Because you’re my friend. I’ve never thought of you as more than that.
(727): why not?
(352): Because…you’re you! I don’t know. That’s just weird.
(727): oh…
(352): What?
(727): nothing…
(352): I swear to God, I’m going to kill you.
(727): why?
(352): Why did you say “oh…”?
(727): because i thought u were being serious
(352): Yes, we’ve established that already.
(727): i wasnt being sarcastic
(352): Excuse me?
(727): i meant it
(727): i was being serious
(352): Oh…
(727): wat?
(352): I…I don’t know what to say.
(727): nothing. i no ill end up alone
(352): Don’t say that! You’ll find a girl who you love. Just…not me.
(727): but i want u
(352): Please don’t do this, sweetie. I don’t want to hurt you, but I’m not going to pretend
(727): pretend wat?
(352): That I love you in the same way that you apparently love me.
(727): ahahahahahaha. i dont rele love u
(352): Come again?
(727): i was kidding
(352): So…you don’t love me?
(727): nope
(352): I just had a panic attack for no reason?
(727): yup!
(352): You bastard.
(727): wat?
(352):
(727): u there?
(352):
(727): hello?
(352):
Now, there are a number of issues with this conversation, but I’ll focus on a few of the most glaring problems.
- Spelling and grammar:
If you graduated from elementary school, you know how to spell words correctly. Try it every now and again.
- Double texting:
(727): whine
(727): bitch
(727): whatever
Admittedly, this is a pet peeve, but I’m assuming it’s irking at least one other person in the world right now. Texting isn’t the same as Facebook chat; I can’t tell when you’re still typing. Send one message at a time, and let me reply. When my mind-reading skills reach their peak, I’ll let you know and you can start sending multiple texts at a time again.
- Word choice:
physics sux balls, but the girls r hot
“Sucks balls” is a completely unnecessary and infuriating phrase, and most girls don’t want to know the level of hotness of the other girls on campus. Stick to how redundant your professors are or how long it takes you to finish your homework each night.
- Cultural references:
What’s a pirate minus a ship?
If a text makes absolutely no sense in context, Google it. On the off-chance that it was an accidental text or random fluke, you’ve got your bases covered. If it turns out that the line was lyrics, you’ve saved yourself from being outcast as a social pariah.
- The not-so-subtle winky face:
That stupid little winky face was the worst thing to come to texting. Typically, it’s used for sexual advances or flirtatious teasing, but sometimes, it’s just a ticking time bomb. Unless you’re up for a late-night booty call, keep the semicolon in between sentences.
- Film devotion:
I want you. I need you. Oh baby, oh baby.
If a girl quotes 10 Things I Hate About You as a profession of her love, she’s kidding.
- Just plain asshole-ness:
i dont rele love u
Don’t be mean. Girls’ feelings get hurt far more easier than those of boys. If she jokingly tells you she loves you then takes it back, don’t guilt her into believing that you just broke her heart. You deserve to be slapped for that.
- I don’t like odd numbers.
In summary, texting really isn’t that hard. A 10-page academic paper? Sure. A 160-character text? Give me a break. And if you really, for some reason, can’t handle it, please, for the love of all that is holy, don’t try. Seriously, people? Really? Your third grade teacher would be disappointed.
It seems like everything is digital in this day in age. Well, not even seems, it is. Everybody has a cell phone. How about the new iPhone or the Droid? It’s all crap. Yeah, it’s cool to have a phone that can tell you everything from the weather to the headlines but a cow application? It’s essentially a cow that moos when you touch it, that’s it. I don’t know if I need that. Cell phones have killed socialization; things have become far too comfortable to say through text, that you necessarily wouldn’t say in person. Aside from cell phones, networking sites like Facebook and Twitter have since then skyrocketed in popularity and profit. I will admit, I am a daily user of Facebook and have seen the many benefits of Twitter as well, but do not currently have an account. Facebook has become an obstacle, it’s something that people log onto when they are, “bored.” It’s a distraction. One thing that really annoys me about Facebook is the fact that it’s become a last resorts to telling your friends (boyfriend/girlfriend included) how you’re feeling. It’s like, if I want someone to know how I’m feeling I should post a video based on the mood I am in or post a quote that’s in reference to my mood. Now there’s nothing wrong with sharing how you’re feelings with everyone but, the real problem starts when people can only display their emotions through this method. Now, I will admit that I’ve had my share of doing this, everyone has, however I eventually tell them or may have prior to. It’s pathetic when you can’t tell someone how you truly feel about them straight to their face though. Take the common girlfriend and boyfriend scenario. She/he uses Facebook as a gateway to display his/her feelings through a multitude of song lyrics, videos, etc. in a hope that he/she might truly understand how he/she is feeling. People have often reserved to communicating over these networking sites because of the shear fact that you can’t be in two places at the same time. In more cases than one it’s the feeling of fear that gets some, the fear that they can’t tell someone something without a computer in front of them. It’s the fact that you’re having a conversation with someone but you can’t see how they’re truly reacting to the words being typed. So, final message, for future reference, both guys and gals need to learn how tell someone how you’re truly feeling in person, if you have something to say, that is. I’d bet money that the main reason why people break up or lose touch is none other than bad communicating methods, had they been better played, who knows what could be in store for the future. Don’t reserve yourself to using Facebook, Twitter or text messaging as the primary sources of communication.
By Alex Marando
Folks, I have a public service announcement: Tights. Are. Not. Pants.
That being said, I would like to acknowledge the fact that I am in no way a fashion expert, nor do I pretend to be. But I can recognize a train wreck when I see one.
I had a problem with leggings as pants. No, not a problem. I hated it. Leggings are what you wear in first grade, or if you’re stuck in the 90s, not to school in the 21st century. I don’t particularly care if they’re meant to look like jeans; if they’re not denim, they’re not jeans.
But I would happily don my own pair of jeggings if that would stop girls from wearing tights as pants. Tights under a dress or skirt? Cute. Tights under shorts? You kind of look like a wannabe dancer, but sure. Tights under a t-shirt? Absolutely not. If I wanted to see all your business, I’m sure I could just ask. And if you’re trying to impress guys with your pink polka dot panties, well honey, you really need to do some soul-searching.
Seriously, people? Really? Put some pants on.
Anonymous asked: Are you brave enough to let me see your peacock?
Only for you ;)
Getting dumped by someone you’re not dating takes skill. Apparently I’m a pro.
I have a tendency to love too much, care too much, get hurt too much. I couldn’t tell you why I keep putting myself out there when I know the result, but I do. And it’s a perfect example of used and abused. I’m a friend until the problem is fixed, and then I’m gone. But recently, my friends have gotten creative.
For years, it was subtle. They’d simply stop talking to me. Ignoring my calls. You know the drill. But for some reason, my friends have stepped up their game recently. I’m spending Valentine’s Day alone. Not because I don’t have a boyfriend (although that’s still part of the issue), but because my friends dumped me. Literally broke up with me. Full-blown “I need a break” and “I’m giving you space” texts at 1:30 in the morning. Of course, maybe it’s just me, but that’s wrong on multiple levels. You dump your girlfriend, not the girl who dumped your girlfriend for you because you were too chicken to do it yourself.
Now, keep in mind that these relationships are purely platonic. No hidden loves or secret romances. Girl meets boy. Boy is a shitshow. Girl helps boy get over psycho girlfriend. End of discussion. If I had feelings for them, maybe things would be different, but that’s never even crossed my mind (no offense or anything).
So here’s the moral of the story: Boys, if you’re going to break up with a girl, at least take her on a few dates first. Suffer through some chick flicks, treat her to Italian or Chinese a couple times, and throw in a teddy bear for good measure. And girls, watch how much of your heart you give to boys; they’re only going to hurt you in the end.
Seriously, people? Really? At least spring for a box of chocolate before you dump someone you weren’t dating.
